Lessons parenting has already taught me

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I’m a recent father of two wonderful children – ages two and newborn. It’s been a blessing that’s come with many lessons. Here are ten that I’ve come across recently.

 

1 I’ve actually found more meaning to life since becoming a parent. Children make you question your own life; values, beliefs and what’s important. I constantly think about what would happen if.. my mind wonders if I’ve been neglect them, or if I’ve been treating them fairly, or if I’m being strict enough to teach them proper lessons. In fact, I constantly worry about bad things happening to them or myself. My mind is always wondering how I can be a better parent. This in itself proves much more meaning in my life previously entailed.

Although I understand there are multiple characteristics that generate ideal happiness, being a parent has far surpassed any other experience I’ve dealt with in my years. Life means so much more to me now that I have to provide for my children. This life meaning has made me appreciate my own life a lot more, and it’s force me to direct my focus on the important things – my children.

2 I’ve recently enlightened myself on a spiritual journey. Over the past five years I’ve learned some incredible life lessons that have taught me to live in the moment, to appreciate my life much more, to become a better person, and find the things that are most important. Before I had children I thought that I knew it all. I felt that I’ve gone through enough experience to understand life – not to its fullest extent, but enough to realize why am here what I need to get out of it. I couldn’t have been more mistaken because parenthood has provided a plethora of new learning experiences.

One lesson that stands out the most to me is that I I learned to be less self absorbed. I focus less on my own projects, wants and needs and directed on the things my children want and need. Not that this is a new concept. I actually learned this through marriage however I learned to apply this a lot more than I used to. There’s nothing that I want more in life than to see my children happy and healthy. Just like you and I it is they’re the best possible upbringing, plus they provide at least 60% of my own happiness.

It doesn’t matter how old you get, there’s always life lessons to be learned.

3 I’ve learned that you can never love someone or something so much. Seeing your own child being born is a wonderful experience. There are a ton of emotions that circulate your body. I’ve experienced this twice. The first few weeks serve intense feelings of happiness, excitement, unease, and a variety of different emotions. Seeing them grow and become little human beings is satisfying in itself, but it also serves feelings of discomfort – worry, frustration and lack of sleep. Witnessing your child grow into a toddler – learning new things and understanding themselves more, brings a connection between the two of you that makes you fall in love with them more than anyone else.

4 As I look into the eyes of my toddler and a newborn child I see so much wonder in their eyes. Their skin has such clarity, and very little negativity expels from them. I can’t help but think about all the toxins and negativity that have run the course in my life. Not that I’ve ingested serious drugs or anything, I’m just talking about the daily ordinary negativity, the social drinking, and the occasional cigarette. At the age of 35, as I can feel pain in some of my joints, I see the wrinkles in my skin, and I continue to make the occasional bad decision.

I realize that I’ve experienced over three decades compared to them, and I get concerned with the potential of them getting older, but then I realize that getting older comes with experience and a ton of life lessons. It’s something I have to accept and let them experience for themselves.

5 As I’ve become a parent I’ve been forced to focus on some of the negative aspects of parenting such as tragic events that have happened to other families, vaccinations, and other negative possibilities that could happen. I have a friend that has twins who had serous life-threatening complications when they were born. It was tough to see him/them go through this, and it’s equally difficult imagining my own kids going through something like this. I understand that neither of us are immune to this type of negativity. This makes me more eager to focus on the important things in life and spend quality time with my children.

6 As I’ve become a parent time goes by a lot quicker than it used to. Although I have a ton of new responsibilities, my days seem much shorter. This sometimes makes me feel unorganized, or anxious that I haven’t accomplished what I want and need in life. During these times I gravitate towards more positive thoughts, or I take the initiative to spend more quality time with my kids. Although it may seem like my time maybe wasted and when I sit in front of the TV, or do things that are pertinent to providing for my family, I realize that there’s. I wasting time when I’m spending it with my kids.

I realize that time will inevitably go as quick as it does. I also realize that as long as I’m spending quality time with my children it doesn’t matter how fast it goes by.

7 As a parent I’ve become much more emotional, especially when dealing with my children. It like I’ve lost most of my toughness as a man. I’ve even become queasy when a doctor uses a needle on one of my children. I don’t know at what point parenthood made me such a weakling, all I know is that the entire experience is emotional during all stages. I guess I’ve got to learn to except it and take it like a man when it comes to emotions and dealing with my children. It’s all a part of the parenthood experience.

8 As a parent I’ve learned to accept the fact that I don’t see most of my single friends anymore. In fact, when I do actually get to spend time with them it’s almost awkward because we have nothing in common anymore. My days consist of potty training and changing newborn diapers. I can’t even remember the last time I watched an adult program on TV. At this stage of my life I’ve learned to accept that my best friend is now a two year old and I do whatever I can to fulfil her happiness because that’s what makes me happy.

9 As a parent I get excited over the simple things; all the new things that my daughters experience, like jumping in puddles, sifting sand with our fingers, painting and playing with Play Doh. My excitement comes from seeing a smile their faces when they experience it for the first time. Although these experience aren’t new to me, I still get value out of seeing them from my daughters perspective. It makes me feel like a kid again.

10 I’ve become more patient since becoming a parent. Although my household is filled with catastrophe from morning till night, I no longer get bothered by the simple things that used to stand in my way as obstacles. There’s no need to continue to be angry with something that can be fixed in minutes. In a household with two children there’s plenty of mishaps. I would go insane if I worried about each one.

 

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Showing 7 comments
  • Louise Field
    Reply

    I am a parent of twins; a beautiful daughter and a lovely boy. I learned so many things after becoming parent. The most important thing I like to mention here is patience and better anger management. Now, I don’t over react to certain things i.e. noise, responding to repetitive questions etc..

  • Cindy
    Reply

    You are actually right Kerry! The questions children occasionally ask you as a parent could be that which you never thought about or ever considered.

  • Catherine Matt
    Reply

    The responsibility of parenting also comes along with its new challenge. That is really helpful because you no longer think about yourself, you now have to think for the whole family.

  • Emily
    Reply

    Yes, Kerry! The focus now goes from the need to hang out with your friend at that nightclub to saving your time towards a great dinner with your family. So everything changes when you become a father.

  • Ethan Harper
    Reply

    With over three decades of experience, you are better placed to lead as a father, and every father smiles at the mistakes children make due to inexperience.

  • Rachel
    Reply

    Well said, Girling. Children also make their parents feel young again, and I think that is a great aspect of parenting. It sure has a positive effect on longevity.

  • Jason T
    Reply

    Aww congrats on being a daddy! My kids are the same distance apart (3 and 1). It’s wonderful! I agree, the experience of having children is beyond any other. Seeing them and knowing they came from you and your wife is such an amazing experience I can’t even put the right words to it. The love we have is just so amazing. Our heart does indeed grow bigger!

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