The true breadwinner is the stay-at-home spouse

The true breadwinner is the stay-at-home spouse

It’s been argued for many years in the household which member of the family’s job is more draining. It’s often joked in the business world that stay at home women barely do anything in the household because all they have to do is look after the kids and caregive. That being said, I beg to differ with this statement as I personally have quite a bit of experience managing three young daughters under the age of six years all while working from home. Being a caregiver to young children is more daunting than I initially thought.

Although I don’t manage my kids 100{e481746ea8be6be64f4ea1269eca37b2626d2a7feb7d55cdaf54c7f459a91701} of the time. My wife looks after the brunt of responsibility during the day when it comes to raising our children but being I am around every waking moment I am a part of the whole scenario. There aren’t too many activities that I am not involved with. I have an office upstairs and a smaller office just off the kitchen where the majority of the horseplay happens. The funny thing is; I feel disconnected from the family when I am upstairs alone in my office so most the time I challenge my sanity and set up my laptop in the kitchen while my kids play around me.

I will admit, there are plenty of times when I need to grab my laptop and coffee with me and go upstairs to take an important phone call, or sometimes the kids are just too loud that I just can’t concentrate so I head upstairs. During the summers I do a lot of my conference calling in the garage because it’s the quietest room in the house. But regardless of how much responsibility is hosted under the umbrella of my career it doesn’t even come close to the responsibility initiated into this household. The true breadwinner when it comes to responsibility is the stay at home spouse – the one who looks after the kids.

Kids are loud. They require an immense amount of attention. Often times their demands are so daunting you can’t even focus on what you’re working on. I appreciate my wife for putting so much effort into raising our children. She took a leave from work five years ago to support our family at home and I couldn’t be any happier. Our situation at home works perfectly. My wife is able to accommodate the kids, and the kids aren’t getting too much in the way of my work because of this.

Some would argue that both parents need to be working making money especially in this economy and with the heightened cost-of-living but that isn’t necessarily the case. We save quite a bit in childcare (thousands of dollars per month actually). We also save in the sense that we won’t be regretting spending too much time with our children when we’re older. 

Regardless of how much time I spend with my children I still get the uneasy feeling in the evening wondering if I spent enough quality time with my kids. 

Quite a few households aren’t set up like ours. Often times both parents are working intense schedules for their jobs and they can’t seem to step away allowing for more family time. Although they’d love to stay at home with their children and work from home their employer wouldn’t allow it nor with the economy and intense cost-of-living. That being said, it isn’t impossible to make it happen.

People say that I am fortunate to work from home, like I am lucky or something but that isn’t the case. I have sifted through 30 different jobs and careers in my life. I can surely say that I’ve gone through more than a handful of asshole bosses. I have garnered quite a few toxic friendships, and I have reset my career over and over again but I’ve sifted through all this garbage to find the ideal work-family situation today. 

You may not be able to accommodate a work from home opportunity right at this very moment but that doesn’t mean you can’t find it. There are plenty of work from home opportunities on the Internet offering stability. Yes quite a few of those are bullshit. You’ll probably spend quite a few hours scrolling through all the potential jobs out there. You’ll come across a ton of MLMs where you’ll need to pull up your socks in order to break even, and you’ll come across more than a handful of get rich quick scheme’s but even some of these opportunity types have communal aspects that allows you keep motivated (MLMs). 

Amongst all the garbage jobs out there each one serves as an opportunity that will allow you to manipulate it to become a work from home opportunity like I did. Keep shifting until you find the one that suits your ideal lifestyle.

My family, friends, and even associates always question how I am able to always find opportunities that allow me to work from home. The truth is; I’ve always been independent. I grew up on a farm for a portion of my life in my teenage years where I didn’t see many people other than at school. Later I became self-employed as a youth motivator which made me even more independent. During the summer months I had to get a job because my teenage audience was on summer holidays and each time I got a job I knew I was only going to be working there for a few months until the next semester came. This forced me to become independent because I was never getting to know any employees for any extended period of time. I worked this system like this for nearly a decade and a half. Hence thirty jobs under my belt. 

Independence allows me to remain focussed on work while I’m at home. Studies have shown that most of our time is wasted when we are in the comfort of our own home. This is obvious because we have televisions and flexibility to do what we want. That being said, there are ways to train your mentality for a work from home perspective.

It wasn’t luck that initiated all my work at home scheduled opportunities. It was negotiation. Each and every time I was able to land a job I was able to manipulate the management team to believing I’d be more efficient working from home. I would prove this every time with actual efforts on paper. Besides who wants long commute times to work? Who wants to work in an environment with a bunch of people you barely like? Who wants to spend the entire day everyday away from the ones you love? I never understood this. That’s why I’ve always been independent minded focussed on finding opportunities that allow me to be on my own with the ones I care about.

The opportunities are out there if you look but you need to change your perspective before you continue your search for the ideal work-from-home opportunity.

Yes there are plenty of challenges that come at me every day with the kids in the mix. They constantly have ridiculous requests and their loud voices are enough to make me go mad at times but the true opportunity of life is being around those you love. I can guarantee those people aren’t in the workplace. If they are consider yourself lucky. 

If you can find a work from home opportunity, do it! I’ve counselled thousands of people on this very subject. Each of them are appreciative of this very knowledge. This perhaps is some of my most fundamental knowledge I have to give. We spend so much time in our offices at work. We communicate with our coworkers more than we do our family, let alone our commute time each day. This in itself is daunting, even more so than getting off our butts to find a work from home opportunity that’ll allow you flexibility.

Yes the primary breadwinner when it comes to responsibility is the stay at home spouse. I don’t necessarily want to add more responsibility in your mix but you’ll appreciate it when you step out of your comfort zone to add more comfort in your life.

Get a real job! Work from home.

Read more at Kerrygirling.ca
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