12 Feb Harness the inner feeling of stepping out of your comfort zone
It’s a new year, and quite possibly it’s your first time in your life that you’re actually dedicated towards achieving some resolutions. Perhaps this is the first time you’ve written your goals whereas others have written goals over and over again for years. The valid comparison between those who set resolutions and those who don’t is simple; One hasn’t yet realized it’s nearly impossible to achieve exactly what you want, and the other has already realized this.
The biggest reason why we don’t achieve what we want isn’t due to opportunity for money, it’s got everything to do with mindset. The Barenaked ladies said, “Nothing worthwhile comes without some kind of fight.” It’s true; literally every goal regardless of the person who tries to achieve it is pushed through literally the same amount of obstacles. In the end it comes down to whom is ready to take on these challenges.
All too often we fall short of achieving our goals due to feelings of being bogged down. It brings our confidence down when we remember things we resent, or the people we hate. In fact, it drains our imagination completely when we do so. It isn’t until you’re able to grasp onto the positives within the situation and move on. That’s when you’ll be able to harness exactly what you want.
Resentment, remorse, hatred that we currently host – the stuff we promised ourselves we would get rid of years ago… What do you know? It still bogs us down from time to time. The reality is, before you can jump to your goals and aspirations you need to take a different look at the resentment, remorse and anger (uneasy emotions) you still host towards society and yourself and understand how you can utilize it favorably.
Neither of us wants to admit that we still host a variety of hangups from previous relationships, jobs, careers, education and the like. Humanity has struggled to keep up with the Joneses in the material sense, and television ads still force us to believe that materialism is important in the equation of happiness. If you haven’t learned yet based on the amount of buyers remorse from the materialistic garbage you’ve already purchased there’s a good chance those gadgets are sitting at the dump wasting away our environment. It’s unsettling how many times we dupe ourselves into believing we will be happier with this materialistic stuff, but in the end we come to strong realizations learning over and over again that we will not be happy with this stuff.
—Getting back to the resentment we host towards ourselves —
It’s clear to see that resentment, remorse and anger infuses itself onto our thought patterns which throws us off path from time to time. It causes an emotional imbalance.
I’ve used resentment, remorse and hatred as examples of common uneasy feelings we all face daily. Regardless of who you are, where you live, how much money you have you’re going to struggle with emotional imbalance from time to time. It’s best to take on these emotions as soon as possible so they don’t linger when you’re trying to achieve a goal. The greatest achievers know that removing the obstacle of emotional imbalance is the key to fulfilment and achievement. It’s through understanding our emotions that will enable us to fight against them. This is an important step leading towards achieving what you truly want.
Lastly, it isn’t very often where we get the chance to prove ourselves to other people in a big way. For example, how often do you get up in front of 500 people and perform? When was the last time you took a big exam? When was the last time you felt forced to strike up a conversation with a stranger? With each of these experiences hosting a variety of uneasy emotions it’s quite easy to overload your mind into an emotional imbalance.
Each of us wants to succeed and neither of us wants to suffer. These are two commonalties between us all but very few of us actually understand how beneficial it can be to not only understand your emotions but use them in your favor.
The next time you have an opportunity to prove something, or say you the next time you get a big opportunity and you’re feeling anxious and overwhelmed make a conscious effort to understand your emotions and how they make you feel. You felt these emotions a million times before but you’ve never learned to understand them, or to use them in your favor. This time you’ll be revved to realize you can use this ‘negative’ emotion as a compounding fire ball of emotion in a positive way.
Some of the greatest public speakers and presidential candidates have proven their confidence by delivering speech after speech in front of large audiences. What’s common between each of these people is that they all go through the same uneasy emotions over and over again each day. With repetition, the great ones have learned to utilize this emotion in a way that will benefit them.
At my peak of my public speaking career I was speaking to an average of 1200 people daily; speaking in 2 to 4 presentations to the entire student body of schools across North America. Every Monday I would get jitters – squeamish. I would get overwhelmed with a loss of confidence. Even though I had ended that previous Friday with a powerful presentation that inspired many people; I too left that presentation feeling inspired. In fact, I had gained momentum throughout the week to deliver this powerful presentation but when Monday came I was less than confident. Why? The reason is because throughout the weekend I had emotional imbalances from family relations and other relationships in my personal life which threw my mentality out of whack. On Monday I was faced with another obstacle – delivering a presentation to the school. It became daunting each Monday for me to get up and speak to the next group of kids. It wasn’t until I delivered hundreds of presentations, going through the same emotions over and over again that I learned that emotion is somewhat equivalent and that I could use it in my favor. When I became nervous on Mondays I grasped onto the nervousness and turned it into confidence by simply changing my thoughts about the situation. I knew that I was fully capable of delivering a powerful speech and I knew this because I remembered Friday’s experience. I combined the positive thought with the nervousness (positive always always negative), and I utilized it in my favour resulting in another powerful speech.
After harnessing the ability to utilize my negative emotions to fuel my confidence on stage I became a master at what I do. Nowadays, there’s rarely a presentation where I present myself unprepared or with lack of confidence because whenever I do experience an emotional lack (during a speech) I know how to compensate.
Use your New Year’s resolutions as an example of this emotional experience and how you can use it as an opportunity to fuel the fire towards achieving each of them. Don’t let remorse, regret and anger discourage you from achieving what you want. Regardless if you’ve never written goals before or if you’ve fine-tuned your goal setting regimen you can utilize your ‘negative’ emotions to fuel the fire beneath your ambition.