02 Feb Is trying to find happiness getting in the way of finding actual happiness?
When New Year’s hits everyone of us evaluates whether or not we are happy. January presents a lot of resentment towards ourselves. We judge ourselves for not completing the tasks we set upon ourselves the previous year. We basically judge ourselves as failures – trying to find all the things we did wrong.
A new year doesn’t have to be a new outlet for Bitching and complaining about what you were too lazy to accomplish — you can look at some of the things you actually succeeded with which will help increase your confidence. You don’t need to dwell about past baggage that happened last year. If you do it’ll only deter you from achieving any realm of happiness.
OK. I’ll let you analyze your 2019‘s wrongdoings. It’ll allow me to encourage you double when you come back to this post.
Now that we’re back and that you’ve analyzed all the effort that went nowhere in 2019, and you enlisted yourself on is spiritual path of ‘how the f*** did I get here?’ I can explain to you that trying to find happiness is not going to get you happy. The reason why you’re challenging your own happiness right now is because you’re not happy. The truth is, neither are the people trying to find happiness. When you’re looking for happiness it either means that you haven’t found it yet or you’re still trying to find it. Each of those equations leave you in the exact same scenario. In order to find true lasting happiness you need to stop asking yourself why are you haven’t found it yet — you need to stop trying to find happiness and enlist yourself into the activities that will get you there.
STOP TRYING TO LOCATE HAPPINESS.
Not too many of us like effort. Our responsibilities bog us down. It would be nice if we could just stop and focus on ourselves from time to time — things we actually like doing. Parenting is chaos when it comes to finding happiness. Often times you get left in the dark trying to parent your kids yourselves, or your make gets in the way with proper parenting — Half the battle of parenting is getting along with your mate. In the single world you’re trying to find someone to bring happiness to you. In the business world you’re never happy with the accomplishments under your belt — you’re always struggling to achieve something more. In the end, neither of us actually finds happiness because we overload ourselves thinking about it, and we force ourselves down a regretful path of effort.
The more you question your happiness the more difficult it’ll be to try and get there. Every time you question your happiness you’re enlisting more possibilities of ‘what can be’ — that interrupts the actual act of achieving happiness. Think of it it is a menu at a restaurant; if the menu offer too many options it becomes daunting for the customer to choose. The same goes with your values of happiness; if you constantly question being happy you’ll gain more and more alternatives of what happiness is that it’ll only confuse your own perspective of ideal happiness.
You don’t need to question your happiness anymore, instead you need to focus on just living life. All too often we lose our focus because we question our efforts. If we were to just trust ourselves and enjoy the moments when we can we’d be a lot closer to finding ideal happiness but we are too concerned about finding ourselves and committing to ridiculous rituals that will never lead us towards happiness, we end up being unhappy.
The truth is; happiness already exists from within. You just need to appreciate the feeling of it and find enjoyment in every moment you can. Happiness is a state of mind, not a physical place.
Read more of my ideals at KerryGirling.ca